March 31, 2020

Why is life nothing more than a series of impossible climbs filled with glass shards and spikes?

I’ve had my Samsung tablet for years and absolutely love it. It’s still in mint condition and speedy and Android is great. After plugging it into its regular nighttime charging cable (daily regiment) last night the the cable started to get warm and the USB port started to smoke in anger. I pulled the hot cable out along with 1/2 the melted port. Dead port and dead cable. Strangely the tablet is still working perfectly but the port is obviously fucked. Talked with my German tech-parts people and they are sending me a new USB port along with its circuitry for 5 bucks total. They are good people, the Germans.

I love this old machine and I don’t want to lose her.

After unprecedented levels of anxiety and many sleepless nights, it arrived.

By “it” I mean my new saddle soap. Even though I don’t yet own a leather saddle or, interestingly enough, a steed, this extravagant conditioning cream may be used on all leather products. I am currently in the process of reviving my prodigious hiking boots and will get to my fancy and very stylish leather motorcycle jackets later today. Hoping the font and packaging of this product is indicative of its quality. The typesetting screams old world exclusivity, elegance and panache. The paste feels smooth with a texture of a churned German village butter and a gentle aromatic ‘nose’ of a Mediterranean Seaside lemon grove. The included sponge gingerly nestled inside the galvanized can (twist top, of course) by a local craftsman speaks opulence and prosperity. Not unlike a smiling child opening a birthday gift I am just as excited for the cream to penetrate my leather footwear, lace up and showcase my artistry to all of my neighbours and colleagues. Let’s be honest with ourselves, being rich has its privileges and this is possibly one of the best ways to showcase the “I’ve made it, I’m successful and I don’t want to hide it” philosophy.

If just want a little cheer in your life, a little extravagance during these trying times plus have an extra $6 to splurge on what I call a “self gift”. Just do it, life is finite.