August 2019

Why is life always such an uphill struggle?

Trying to figure out BBQ fittings, hose sizes, proper regulators and all the little fucking adapters (not just thread patterns, but they also screw counterclockwise just to be dicks). I was able to finally find all the shit I need locally for 8 bucks (those capitalist fucks at Weber, bless their hearts, charge 99 £ plus 18 £ shipping to the motherland) for a kit to allow me to use a proper propane tank (from the van, we have 3) instead of their ( those capitalist fucks at Weber, bless their hearts, charge 9 British Pounds, plus 6 £ shipping for a tiny-ass non-refillable propane tank that lasts exactly 1 hour).

So I now have a tank that will last a season (costs 10 € to fill at a gas station nearby)!!!

The shittiest fucking thing is that the LPG tank is a different shade of green (a bit darker) than the walls of the balcony. Everything has to color match, we’re not animals.

So now I am struggling to paint it a nice neon green with crappy bargain basement Italian spray paint in a category 6 windstorm. FML.

A delicious fast food story.

Hesburger is a popular Bulgarian fast food chain and I love everything about it. Their new restaurant opened a few weeks ago just off the highway in Sunny Beach (2 blocks from the Subway I discussed in the past). A quick 10 minute bike ride from home and I’m in culinary bliss. I love fast food and can happily ingest pretty much all of it (well, except the morally incomprehensible things such as veggie burgers, potato slices and Sprite). This new place is super space age, efficient and spotless. No cigarettes or dirty bathrooms here (actually, no signs of poverty, at all). Everything is spotless, they take Apple Pay and whatever changes/addons you need, they perform with a smile (кисели краставички, molya). The overly friendly dude even threw my beer into the freezer while my food was being prepared, now that’s 5 star service. Plug in your laptop, download porn off their WiFi, take 1000 napkins, have a long poop without a cat scratching at your door – no problem!!

But the food, seriously, the food is always super fresh, hot and DELICIOUS almost too perfect. Their burgers are simply brilliant.

They will be open in the winter, too….I know you’re probably laughing at this point but it will be a great place to hang out on a chilly January afternoon with a good book and basquet of rings.


The Internet brought me my autumn tires this morning.

I need to remain fashionable in this Eastern European village of mine. Did you know that due to poverty and laziness most people only replace their bicycle tires once worn? Imagine wearing the same color pair of pants for a whole year, or more. It’s like a Seinfeld episode. Photos coming soon.