I spoke too soon.

I parked the little French rocket a tad too close to the bus loop in
front of our hotel. 120 Euro down the toilet, completely my fault, I
am a bad citizen.

Looks like dry bread with mayo for dinner tonight.

Good car the 207, just a few flaws.

The roads on this island are silky smooth, almost unbelievably so.
The highways, even the back roads have this pitch black, brand new
tar. The infarstructure here is top notch. Most are windy, really
windy with very generous speed limits. You can literally fly. We took
our little Peugeot to the opposite corner of the isle and had some
fun. Little tires equal loads of understeer, great brakes, yeah needs
bigger tires. This place would be deadly on my ol' bike.

A few words from Ibiza.

Our hotel absolutely rules. It’s super clean, spacious, air
conditioned, has two huge swimming pools and as you can see from the
picture, meters away from the sea. The view from our patio is
breathtaking, we’re here for seven days. Yay. Once again rented a
car, a brand new Peugeot 207, four door diesel with barely 1000k on
it. Cheap to rent, cheap to run with no mileage restrictions. Good
stereo too, glad I brought my CD case. I’m planning on exploring
every single corner of this crazy island.

Crazy island it surely is, this is still the shoulder season and every
place is packed. Finding parking is a one hour long puzzle game, if
you can fit, anyway, and not block traffic, you’re legally parked.
Food and booze at the grocery store is cheap, a dozen beers is less
than 5 Euros, a dozen eggs 1, a jug of water the size if my head 60
cents. As expected the corner stores and restaurants are considerably
more, nothing like ripoff-Paris though. Our hotel room has a roomy
kitchen, we can cook whatever we please. The weather is amazing, I am
typing this out on our patio and the sun seems 5 meters away from my
face. There are fancy boats and airplanes buzzing all around me, nice.

We haven’t begun the madness yet, the reason why we’re here, clubbing.
We have our tickets, maps, DJ info, cans of energy drinks and a fridge
full of fruit. We’re starting our non stop club tour in two days. This
is Ibiza, the place where clubs open at noon and the afterparties
start at 8AM the next day. Total insanity. The two guys from Deep
Dish are here, Steve Lawler, Sasha, Pete Tong, Micah, Danny Tengalia,
Fatboy Slim…..this is just at one club. There is more than a dozen
massive discos here. This is calm before the storm, rest by the pool
with a vodka lemon I must.

The overnight ferry.

Repeat after me.
It’s impossible to sleep in a chair.
It’s impossible to sleep in a chair.

Getting a night’s sleep in a chair cannot be done, it’s a myth like
UFO’s and Eskimos. They packed us up like a bushel of turkeys in a hot
room with extremely uncomfortable seating. I “slept” on the floor, my
head on a backpack, hugging a lifejacket. Marcie was flailing around
on in her seat most of the night, I doubt she slept for more than an
hour.

The ship was pretty cool, similar to a BC Ferry but with a bar and
private sleepers which command, slight exaggeration here……a one
Million Billion Euro upgrade fee. Pffft.

We arrived at around 7AM and caught a bus to our hotel. The weather is
currently awesome.

All of Europe is ham-crazy.

There are all kinds of different stuff. Most are raw, just cured with
salt. Some costs as much as 140.00 + Euro for a kg.

Thank you for your sacrifices little piggies, you’re a delightful treat. .

We're going to Ibiza.

To quote the best selling singers, songwriters “The Vengaboys”.

I Don’t Wanna Be A Bus Driver
All My Life
I’m Gonna Pack My Bags And Leave This Town
Grab A Flight
Fly Away On Venga Airways
Fly Me High
Ibiza Sky

I Look Up At The Sky
And I See The Clouds
I Looked Down At The Ground
And I See The Rainbow Down The Drain
Fly Away On Venga Airways
Fly Me High
Ibiza Sky

Whoah! We’re Going To Ibiza
Whoah! Back To The Island
Whoah! We’re Going To Ibiza
Whoah! We’re Gonna Have A Party
Whoah! In The Mediterranean Sea

Toodieeeeee Toodieeeeee Toodieeeeee Toodieeeeee Doooooooo…..

Gondolaaaaaahhhhhh.

Went on a gondola ride above Barcelona. I was hoping it would be a
little scary, sway a little, make some unsavoury grinding noises.
Nothing, no danger, just a smooth ride up to a tourist trap restaurant
on top of a mountain. We had two beers, shared a Marlboro and
gongola'ed back down.

Besides about five modern buildings this whole city is exactly six
stories high.

Beach vendors.

So you lie down on the beach sand, try to enjoy yourself, have a nice
time. On our particular beach there is a small pest that hovers above.
Unstoppable beach vendors. God strike me down if I'm lying, every 14
seconds someone is trying to sell you something. Screaming out BEER,
WATER, COCA COLA, sun glasses for sale, henna tatoos, beach blankets
and my favourite of all MASSAGES. There must be an army of ladies from
the glorious country of China that are trying to sell you a 5 Euro
rubdown. So fucking annoying. Not even full service, I eagerly asked.
We're having so much fun right now.

Beach.

We were able to salvage our night after all. The rain stopped around
10PM and after having perhaps a few too many drinks, hit the beach. It
was warm and there was a huge, angry surf. After wandering around a
little we ran into some English speaking folk. Three young dudes and a
girl. One was from Italy, two from Brazil, the girl from Switzerland.
They rolled a couple of doobies, we all drank a bunch of beers and
talked about nothing till the wee hours. It was an amazing night.

Google car.

That, in the distance is the Google car. It takes all the street level
data for Google maps. Sadly, very sadly I was unable to get a closer
look or harrass the driver.

Rain keeps on comin´

We can´t do anything outdoorsy, the beach is empty, the sky is dark. Marcie won, not by winning the game, but by stashing 4 Heinekens in the bottom of the fridge. Good girl, thinking in advance. We are sitting in an Internet cafe once again, killing time. The following is not a series of dots, they are tears coming out of my eyes right now……………………………………………………………

On a brigher note, we were able to locate an all you can eat sushi joint, close to our place and reasonably priced. Excited about that!!!

Total pain and dispair.

All we are getting right now is cold weather, wind, rain, total gloom.
Sunday, Jesus day isn't treating us right. It feels like Victoria
weather in December. We're cooped up in our appartment twiddling our
fingers with our beer supply at alarmingly low levels. We have decided
to eat more fruit. The supermarket is over a block away, a game of
paper/rock/scissors will decide who goes. It's a 50% chance that it's
gonna be me, bad odds. I wish I knew what's on her mind right now.
Possibly scissors. Wish me luck.

More sadness.

We had to vacate our beachouse, our time has run out. We would have
stayed there for at least another week but sadly it was booked way in
advance by others. This is the view from our current flat. A sad view
indeed.

The addition of a construction dude peering through our
bedroom wondow adds a little excitement to our drunken pillow fights.
This place is WAY bigger, with 3 rooms and more creature comforts, but
it’s two blocks from the beach. Almost a two minute walk, ohh the
pain. It will have to do for now. The weather is better.